You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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