u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
did i walk over a car last night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
