my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
