Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was confusing and full of hummus
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
