i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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