there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
