Small penises have feelings too.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
