what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
