we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
