I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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