My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
