Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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