im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
