God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
