Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
