Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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