i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
