I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
