It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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