So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize