But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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