i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize