So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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