its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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