Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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