And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
