Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
