you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
