So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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