I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize