i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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