I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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