dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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