I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
