my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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