i think my mom watched the whole time
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
