Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
