We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
