i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
