my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
