Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize