Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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