After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
