He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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