we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
