That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
