i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
