and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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