i think my tv is drunk
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
