we have officially lost it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
