it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
