If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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