Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
