Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
