I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
