do herpes really smell.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
