it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
