Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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