this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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