I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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