just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Terrible idea I love it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
