Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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