but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
