I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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