Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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