So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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