I'm lost and stupid without you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
