sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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