The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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