your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
