drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize