is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
