Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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