I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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