i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
