he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
