lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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