You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
