Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
